Extreme Bumper Stickers

God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.

I don't have a license to kill.  I have a learner's permit.

I wasn't born a witch.  Men like you made me this way.

Keep honking while I reload.

Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!

Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?

Madness takes its toll.  Please have exact change.

5 days a week my body is a temple.  The other two, it's an amusement park.

EARTH FIRST!  We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.

If you drink, don't park.  Accidents cause people.

If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

Save the whales!  Trade them for valuable prizes.

Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.

Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.

Just say no! to sex with pro-lifers.

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her...  or something like that.

Sure you can trust the government!  Just ask an Indian!

Alcohol and calculus don't mix.  Never drink and derive.

If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.

Stop repeat offenders.  Don't re-elect them!

The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 

I love cats…they taste like chicken 

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot  

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather…not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car 

Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!! 

If we aren't suppose to eat animals, why are they made of meat? 

Forget about World Peace…Visualize Using Your Turn Signal! 

He who laughs last thinks slowest 

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. 

I souport publik edekasion 

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated 

Ever stop to think and forget to start again? 

Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog. -Dorothy 

All generalizations are false. 

Change is inevitable…except from a vending machine 

Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once 

Born Free…Taxed to Death 

Cover me, I'm changing lanes. 

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. 

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep. 

All men are Idiots, and I married their King! 

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. 

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. 

It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you. 

If you don't like the news, go out and make some. 

I brake for no apparent reason. 

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS 

Sorry, I don't date outside my species 

I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight. 

No Radio - Already Stolen 

Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges 

I took an IQ test and the results were negative 

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? 

When there's a will, I want to be in it! 

Few women admit their age, Few men act it! 

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW! 

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. 

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. 

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have. 

How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away? 

"Warning: Dates in Calendar are Closer than they Appear" 

Give me ambiguity or give me something else. 

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. 

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART 

Always remember you're unique, just like everybody else 

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps 

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. 

Why is ‘abbreviation' such a long word? 

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice Doggie!"…till you can find a big rock. 

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles 

Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself. 

I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want? 

I have no idea what I'm doing out of bed this early 

Turn signal doesn't work…watch for the finger